Long and short, this is quite enough of this.
At this point we've somehow bought into this delusion that DarKastle can't spin because that makes it too intense and it makes guests nauseous. We're somehow defending the position that this multi-million dollar dark ride technology that Busch Gardens had before almost anyone else is in its current, neutered state because... well, that's just what's best for the guest. It's a little absurd. I'm not sure why we're all buying into this mindset like, "Well, unfortunately, it just has to be this way. It's for the best."
It's not. It really just is not.
Sure, other rides spin. True. Even putting that aside, we MUST allude to Transformers: The Ride - 3D or Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man, which (I say again) rock, jump, slam, jolt, and plaster you into your seat with force as they spin along MUCH more violent cycles than DarKastle's current. Same height requirement. Still appealing to kids 8+, but not resorting to simple "taps" and slow revolutions. Guess what they're billed as. Yep, family rides. This notion that DarKastle "needs" to perform its current program because the old one was making people sick is just absurd. I'm not saying it's false. Just that it's absurd.
And just pretending that that is a valid excuse, I would say there are about ten steps I'd take to remedy the situation before I turned to re-programming the ride. For example, a sign or repeated warnings in the queue: "DarKastle is an aggressive family thrill ride that includes rapid spinning, rough terrain and disorienting visuals that may cause discomfort in guests prone to motion sickness or nausea."
I totally get that Busch Gardens caters to a different demographic than Universal's Islands of Adventure. But at this point, DarKastle needs to close early this fall and re-open next summer to celebrate its 10th anniversary with completely re-done from scratch HD visuals (like Spider-Man), a working pre-show with queue rails to keep guests in order while they watch it, and entirely re-programmed, aggressive motion profile that rivals Spider-Man's. The ride as it is is fun and lovely and a nice air-conditioned reprieve. It could and SHOULD be Busch Garden's headlining family thrill ride. Even 10 years later, practically no one else has this technology, and it's really being wasted in its current state at Busch Gardens.
The other possibility is that the ride is getting old, and is simply not able to reliably perform the aggressive motion profile it had in 2006. Fine. Fix it.
Maybe the problem is that Busch Gardens management believed that DarKastle was a one-and-done pony that could be installed and run perpetually. Not the case. The company worked almost exclusively with B&M, producing hyper-reliable coasters that need a green button to go and never seem to slow down thereafter. Dark rides are not that way. The technology behind DarKastle needs attention. A LOT of it. And if Busch Entertainment was bamboozled by that, just IMAGINE the ignorance of SeaWorld Parks.
Let me say this:
If SeaWorld Parks owns Busch Gardens ten years from now, DarKastle will be gone.
If SeaWorld Parks owns Busch Gardens ten years from now, there may not be a Busch Gardens in Virginia.
Make no mistake. The outrageous choices of what to build, what to operate, what not to operate, what to fix, and what not to fix are not coincidences. DarKastle, Europe in the Air, Mach Tower, England 2014, San Marco 2015, Antarctica... these are the decisions of Blackstone, a private equity investment group whose business is to make a quick buck. That's not a judgement or a slight. That's what private equity investment groups do: cut costs to bare minimum, slash funding, re-arrange internal staff, install cost-cutters, then report record profits and sell at massive personal gain. Their plans were no doubt to shine up the Worlds of Discovery Parks with "cheap and cheerful" shows, carnival rides, and paint jobs, then sell the chain at massive profit. Those plans are being interrupted by Blackfish and SEAS' descent in the stock market. It's sinking.
Suddenly Blackstone isn't going to be ABLE to sell this beautiful park chain. Suddenly, they might be STUCK with it. Now what, indeed? Look for increasingly desperate installations and even more of a disconnect between the park's culture and the park's operation as they try to blindly re-brand. "Cheap and cheerful." I'm telling you. Look. Mach Tower. England 2014. San Marco 2015. Cheap and cheerful. Like a bow on a Christmas package, begging someone to open it.
By the way, Cedar Fair's Dick Kinzel begged for another investment group, Apollo, to do the same to Cedar Fair when it reached $6.00 a share. Apollo came in with the "generous" offer of buying out Cedar Fair stockholders for $12.00 a piece. By the way, Mr. Kinzel would've floated from the deal on a golden parachute clause awarding him no less than $20 million for the transaction. At the last minute, a shareholder stood up to the plan and thwarted the scheme. Kinzel was ousted, Apollo backed off, and Cedar Fair shares are currently trading at $50.00. If not for that shareholder's intervention, Cedar Fair parks today would be in the same position Busch Gardens is... owned by a house-flipper looking to install some cheap plumbing and sell fast.
Be aware. Busch Gardens Williamsburg is not simply making mistake after mistake after mistake and failing to learn from it. This is Blackstone. This is SEAS. This is Blackfish. Feeling like Busch Gardens has suddenly lost its identity? You're looking at the microcosm. Mach Tower? Easter Path? Europe in the Air? Entertainment cuts? The Beatles in England? Motorbikes in San Marco? DarKastle? Zoom out. Look at the big picture.
Parques. Merlin. Universal. Herschend.
Keep your eyes open. If not SEAS, someone else. And I would bet that the DarKastle situation would (will?) be quickly rectified by an owner with any sense of the industry. The park is a gold mine. DarKastle is a VERY bright, shining gold nugget in that mine. But if SeaWorld Parks can barely bring itself to invest in new, attention-grabbing rides, why in the WORLD would they waste money fixing up an old one?
At this point, SIX might do a better job.
