Setting aside last night’s violence and filth, I want to talk about our experiences in the houses, themselves, because they were fantastic.
I’m not able to review the scare zones, because the paths were too crowded and dangerous to experience some of them. I will say that the Yard is amazing. It was fully-staffed, and the actors were brilliant. It felt like an extension of Lockdown. Honestly, KD essentially created a two-part indoor/outdoor house. All of the other scare zones were well staffed by really engaged actors. I believe that without the appalling guests, the paths would have been the best I have ever experienced.
On to the houses, themselves, here are my thoughts from best to worst:
1. Blood on the Bayou. The design of this house was much more sophisticated any other maze in Virginia in 2017. This year, however, they figured out how to use the creative sets to achieve some of the best scares in the park. I was anxious all of the way through, and more remarkably, the tension lasted well after I had escaped the building. This house, in my opinion, could compete with anything I have experienced in Florida.
2. Lockdown. I always think of this as the Little Maze That Could. The received wisdom when it opened was that is was a lazy re-theme of a mediocre house (for what it is worth, I never disliked Outbreak either). I was a huge advocate of Lockdown last year, believing it produced great scares in a chaotic environment. This year, possibly because of the addition of the Yard, it was even better for me. After navigating angry, injured guards, looking for someone to bully, you enter the prison where all hell has broken loose. The high energy never abates, and the actors both inside and out are completely on top of their games. The park makes great use of sound to amplify the feeling of chaos, as well I left the area feeling amped up and disturbed.
3. Blackout. I know it seems odd that I have rated this house so high on my list. It is a controversial choice, and
@Zachary certainly disagrees. For me, however, this maze was incredibly fun and delivered several scares. Historically, the house has been either too dark or too light. Additionally, it has never seemed very well staffed. Last night, however, it was just light enough for me to navigate the maze, while still being dark enough to hide the actors, until they were directly in my face. I was startled several times, and emerged from the building incredibly happy.
4. Condemned. The flashlights were novel, but I’m not sure what they really added. I was so worried about not blinding the actors, that I mostly kept mine aimed at the ground. There was enough ambient light to see without them, so it just felt like a gimmick, designed to extend the life of an old, but well themed house. The new room at the end was a nice change. The house was understaffed, but the actors were good. I guess I just didn’t care much one way or another about the House Formerly Known as No Vacancy.
5. Zombie High. I really love this house. I love the energy, the theme, the essential coolness. Sadly, it was terribly understaffed last night. The actors, especially the always-popular principal, were great. There just were not enough of them. I fear that KD may soon cut the head off of this old favorite.
6. Trick or Treat. This house is simply lovely. The design is intricate and a marvelous museum to good theming. Unfortunately, it seems to be staffed with character actors, rather than scare actors. Several of the admittedly very interactive witches seemed to have more in common with Glinda than the Wicked Witch of the West. I do think this house is a great starter maze, however.
7. Cornstalkers. I know this house should be fantastic in theory. I have heard that some people have had amazing experiences in it. For me it simply has never worked. The maze is too bright, so I can see the dead ends and the “hidden” actors. The paths always seem to stack. The house is perennially understaffed. I was startled a few times, and some of the actors did attempt to creep me out. Generally, however, it felt more like an empty field than a carnivorous farm. KD does get kudos for using corn in their corn maze, however.
I have chosen not to include Tollway Terror in my rankings, but rather to evaluate it separately. I never know how to classify this attraction. Is it really a maze? It feels more like a scare zone. Regardless, last night it was great. There were actors everywhere, and a few actually managed to startle me. I normally tell people that the payoff is not worth the wait. It still seems like a long line for just a few real scares. That said, if there is ever a year to do it, this may be the one. The environment has always been creepy, and at least for us, the maze, itself, finally seems fully and effectively staffed.
In writing this review I began to think more about the event as a whole. I think KD employs a wide variety of techniques and scares to tap in a full spectrum of fears. Every house “entertains” in a different way: they range from creepy to startling to gross to chaotic to anxiety-inducing, etc. I think KD also makes excellent use of music and sounds, which I have noted before I find incredibly effective in manipulating my mood. I really believe KD has evolved beyond a simple haunt and now offers varied and sophisticated houses and scare zones.
