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Weaklings. To New Englanders this is the holy grail of food.

I lived in Boston for ten years. Ate Ben & Jerry's outdoors on a steel bench during blizzards, as one does. Often haunted Somerville restaurants, meaning I probably ate a diseased rat or two at some point in the 90s or 00s. Boldly purchased "refrigerated" steaks at the notorious Johnny Foodmaster grocery store in Inman Square, thereby violently food-poisoning my roommates by accident despite cooking it well. Meanwhile I experienced nothing more than a mild tummy rumble from the same food.

I have lived a very socially active life, yet I have not vomited since 1989. This is a true statement.

And yet.

White Castle is a step too far.

Granted, it is delicious. But the great and rightly beloved New England region, home of nine framers of the US Constitution and birthplace (and berth-place) of the celebrated heavy frigate USS Constitution, could not manage to adequately steel my personal constitution against the ravages of those greasy microburgers.

Krystal, on the other hand, is quite palatable, both during and after the meal. Shame about the bankruptcy, and also that they were largely in crummy states to begin with.

By the way: do New Englanders consider White Castle to be a holy grail of sorts because they have to travel so far to find it? Due to there being literally zero White Castles in that entire region of the country?
 
By the way: do New Englanders consider White Castle to be a holy grail of sorts because they have to travel so far to find it? Due to there being literally zero White Castles in that entire region of the country?
No it's more of a joke that our food is so bad that White Castle is good. Especially in CT. Long live white clam pizza.
 
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Well, speaking only for myself, the Hub rat was pretty tasty.
One of the few! Connecticut is good, but there isn't really any distinctive CT foods outside the WCP. Otherwise it's either Boston or NYC's influence. Not like MD (crabs), Dutch PA (pretzels), and VA (edge of southern cooking) that has it's own cultural foods.
 
I would welcome a chain like Kava or Mezeh, not any literal fast food chain though. It would be a downright lie to say that the worst day at Marco Polo is better than the worst day at any Kava/Mezeh/Chipotle.

Also, I don’t anything about the “politics” of these brands, but surely they are not as antiquated as Chik-fil-A’s. And a Mediterranean menu is at least more in-theme than a chicken sandwich is.

AND Zaxby’s is FAR superior to Chik-fil-A. Zax sauce > Chick-fil-A sauce 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
 
On the topic of White Castle, can any informed Virginian inform me why we don’t have any WC locations? I’m craving a White Castle burger but can’t stoop so low as buying the shit frozen version. I know VA has had a history with Jack in the Box, but what’s the deal with White Castle?
 
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