Okay it's Monday, I'm hopped up on Adderall, and I don't want to do work. The following is a presentation of how we use the BfE Building, add an important attraction to Busch Gardens, and save the park forever.
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Europe in the Aire: Otherworld Crisis
Guests are welcomed back to Europe in the Air! Once again, the company is offering a state-of-the-art touring service designed to whisk visitors across the continent in one unforgettable afternoon! Guests enter through a sleek travel agency lobby filled with brochures, rotating globes, and airport signage making it seem exciting, if mundane.
PRESHOW ROOM 1: THE DEPARTURE TERMINAL
As our live employee host begins the orientation, chaos erupts—Agent Miles O’Skye of the Otherworld Protection Agency (OPA) bursts onto the screen that moments before was simply a description of the vacation package the guests had purchased. The room flickers, lights surge, and Miles declares a Green Alert: an
Otherworld Incursion. The invading Sluagh, ancient Irish spirits of chaos, have crossed into our world, and are exploiting magical nexuses across Europe! But wait, Agent Miles didn't notice the tour group in the building. No time for covering up though, all hands are needed!
In a flash, we’re deputized as temporary OPA recruits.
(Yes, this is blatantly stolen from Men in Black: Alien Attack. No, I won't apologize)
View attachment 37889
(art not final. demonstration purposes only)
PRESHOW ROOM 2: THE HEART OF EIRE
In a second briefing room, guests learn that only the Heart of Éire, a mystical energy source, can defeat the Sluagh. Luckily, the OPA has discovered how to direct its magic using specially-tuned wands. The wands are in turn attatched and powered by the Slipstream 4000 Airsled, a nimble, floating skimmer vehicle equipped with the latest Otherwoldly technological developments.
(Guests grab their wand, which uses a simple push-button—no wrist flicks required. I'm not looking to create Webslingers injuries)
THE JOURNEY
1. Scotland – Loch Ness Research Outpost
We launch across the Irish Sea, arriving at a foggy (see: fog machines) lakeside research station. The room is cluttered with expedition gear, old sonar monitors, and crumbling wooden docks. The Sluagh pop out from behind crates, inside tents, and even disguise themselves as diving suits. The ride ends with a close pass of something enormous lurking beneath the water—could Nessie be helping?
2. England – Stonehenge
We arrive at twilight. Sluagh flit between the ancient stones, attempting to leech their power. Magical pulses swirl through the air, and as we zigzag through the circle. The stones react and glow with energy whenever the Sluagh are hit. We exit through past King Charles, who has Sluagh coming out of his crown!
3. France – Paris Streets
It’s rush hour as we arrive in the City of Lights. We zip past the Arc de Triomphe, where a Sluagh clings to the top like a gremlin. Another perches atop a mime frozen mid-performance. A bakery explodes with croissants (perfect time to use on-ride scents!), and a bicyclist in a stripey shirt almost runs into us as we careen toward the Eiffel Tower.
4. Italy – The Colosseum
We enter to the sound of echoing cheers. The Sluagh are reenacting gladiator battles using stolen ancient armor they have enchanted turning the arena into their playground. A lion chases one across the sand, while another is whipping a net at the vehicle! A nearby tourist (Carl Lum) desperately clutches his bowl of spaghetti as it's yanked away by a mischievous spirit.
5. Germany – Oktoberfest
True chaos erupts. Tubas honk autonomously, Sluagh leap out of cuckoo clocks, and beer steins topple over with magical spills. A maypole twirls out of control, launching colored ribbons and spirits into the air. There's a special appearance by the Icelands booth, run by Gerta and Gunter's Incest Child.
6. Ireland – The Otherworld
Finally, we shoot across the sea and break through the veil between worlds, entering the shimmering realm of the Sluagh. The Heart of Éire pulses at the center of an enchanted forest filled with glowing plants, levitating stones, and an ancient fairy castle. Balor himself descends, (a massive, highly impressive animatronic) in a last-ditch effort to win.
GRAND FINALE
With Balor vanquished, the Otherworld collapses into light. We’re welcomed back to Earth by Agent O’Skye, Addie the sprite, and other magical allies who thank us for our bravery. A readout screen gives each guest their OPA Rank, from Junior Agent to Hero of Éire, based on their score. Before disembarking, Miles reminds us not to tell anyone about what happened today, and that we are all being comped a free Europe in the Air vacation anytime we want!
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I feel like this would be immensley reridable and probably permanently fix BGW. To anyone from SeaWorld Corporate who is reading this, it can be yours for a very reasonable fee, or a lifetime Platinum Pass.
