[Satire] Christmas "town" is a sham

[Jahrules]

First off let's look at the definition of town:

town
/toun/

noun

1. an urban area that has a name, defined boundaries, and local government, and that is generally larger than a village and smaller than a city.

I want to focus on the government aspect. When were the Christmas "town" elections? Who were the candidates? What is the constituency?

Nay! What we are looking at here is more akin to a monarchy!!? and a monarchy is the dominion of a king...

 

[belsaas]

I always assumed it was more of an oligarchy in which all the decisions are secretly made by the Clydesdales after dark.

Stomp once for another launch coaster, twice for a dark ride

 

[Jonesta6]

Stampede for dueling coaster

 

[halfabee]

Local government can be a monarchy... kind of hilarious for a local lord to self-identify as a king though.

 

[Mushroom]

This raises a new question... where the heck is the king of Kings Dominion?? It's been 45 years and nobody has seen him. I demand transparency from my monarchical theme park leaders, dammit!

 

[belsaas]

Didn't the queen decapitate him last year during Haunt? I always thought they should have changed to Queens Dominion for that event.

 

[Jahrules]

Didn't the queen decapitate him last year during Haunt? I always thought they should have changed to Queens Dominion for that event.

Now that is starting to feel a bit like Europe and certain queens of England sending people to the tower of London...

Is that Europe in the Air that I detect???

 

[belsaas]

Okay, here's a relatively unrelated idea, but since this whole thread is a shitpost.

Next Howl-O-Scream, have a maze inside the Battle for Eire building and queue again, but Miles O'Skye has returned for vengeance after being rudely displaced.

Europe in the SCARE

 

[Jahrules]

More importantly; will @Zachary marathon it???