Really Unfortunate Coaster Names

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Nicole

Nicole

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Jul 22, 2013
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I have been noticing recently how bad many attraction names have gotten. Indeed, it feels a bit like a race to the bottom.

After offering us three regrettable options in a poll to name their new B&M family invert, BGW threw out all of them, completely changed course, and settled instead on the least creative option available to them—but with the questionable addition of completely gratuitous particles in both the main- and sub- titles. The Big Bad Wolf: The Wolf’s Revenge was born.

Similarly, in a bid to find the most redundant attraction name in the country, SWO christened their flying theater “Expedition Odyssey,” or as I like to think of it, “Journey Squared.”

Cedar Point unaccountably got rid of the word “dragster” when they renovated the ride, but apparently kept the racing theming. We are left with the nearly meaningless, and certainly uncorrelated, “Top Thrill 2.”

So, I started pondering which are the worst coaster names I have encountered. Then I started seeing certain patterns and decided to bin them. To be clear, this list is not a comment on the quality of the ride or even the theming. I am just saddened by the names, themselves.

Some names seem to be little more than trendy marketing gibberish:
  • InvadR
  • Phobia Phear Coaster
  • Hypersonic XLC

Other names just feel like plagiarism born of laziness:
  • AlpenFury (this one really irritates me)
  • The Big Bad Wolf: The Wolf’s Revenge
  • Zambezi Zinger
  • The Bat

Then there are the ones with comically long titles:
  • Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure
  • Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts
  • Gotham City Gauntlet: Escape from Arkham Asylum
  • Hot Wheels Boneshaker: The Ultimate Ride

Sometimes parks seem to be worried that guests won’t know the massive structure with the trains on it is a ride:
  • Jersey Devil Coaster
  • Phobia Phear Coaster
  • Apocalypse the Ride
  • Joker Funhouse Coaster
  • Revenge of the Mummy: The Ride
  • Batman: The Ride
  • SUPERMAN™ The Ride
  • Pipeline: The Surf Coaster
  • Wonder Woman Golden Lasso Coaster
  • Hot Wheels Boneshaker: The Ultimate Ride

Other times they apparently get writers block and either fall back on old tropes or just reuse a name from a completely different coaster somewhere else in the chain (not at all confusing):
  • Goliath
  • Manta
  • Batman: The Ride
  • Revenge of Anything
  • Steel Whatever
  • Iron Thing
  • Twisted Noun

Names with completely unnecessary subtitles are also popular:
  • Hot Wheels Boneshaker: The Ultimate Ride
  • Wave Breaker: The Rescue Coaster
  • The Big Bad Wolf: The Wolf’s Revenge
  • Gotham City Gauntlet: Escape from Arkham Asylum
  • Hollywood: Rip Ride Rocket
  • Hydra: The Revenge
  • Pipeline: The Surf Coaster

As are names with numbers:
  • Fury 325
  • Top Thrill 2
  • Intimidator 305

Obviously, this list isn't comprehensive; these are just the examples that jumped most immediately to mind.

There are so many fantastic attraction names and it just frustrates me that we increasingly seem to be ending up with jarring and disappointing titles. Hopefully, this trend won’t continue.
 
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If you want long, weird, or unique coaster names, Chinese parks have got you covered:
-Soaring Dragon & Dancing Phoenix (a knockoff SLC)
-Frontline Charge (Vekoma roller skater)
-Antimatter Move & Stress Express (boomerangs)
-Python in Bamboo Forest (absolutely gargantuan GCI, possibly the largest ever built?)
-Pine Tree Rocket (Various vekoma models)
-Light of Revenge (Chinese Cheetah Hunt)
-Whale Breaking the Sky (intamin vertical lift)
-Osmanthus Flying Rabbit (kiddie coaster)
-Beyond the Cloud (probably one of the more well known—a massive Mack launch with a low to the ground high speed roll)
-Flight of the Himalayan Eagle Music Coaster (B&M mega coaster with on board music, and yes that really is the name)
-Flying Apsaras in Western Region (B&M dive, former name of “Western Regions Heaven”)

And that’s just scratching the surface.
 
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Coasternerd said:
If you want long, weird, or unique coaster names, Chinese parks have got you covered:
-Soaring Dragon & Dancing Phoenix (a knockoff SLC)
-Frontline Charge (Vekoma roller skater)
-Antimatter Move & Stress Express (boomerangs)
-Python in Bamboo Forest (absolutely gargantuan GCI, possibly the largest ever built?)
-Pine Tree Rocket (Various vekoma models)
-Light of Revenge (Chinese Cheetah Hunt)
-Whale Breaking the Sky (intamin vertical lift)
-Osmanthus Flying Rabbit (kiddie coaster)
-Beyond the Cloud (probably one of the more well known—a massive Mack launch with a low to the ground high speed roll)
-Flight of the Himalayan Eagle Music Coaster (B&M mega coaster with on board music, and yes that really is the name)
-Flying Apsaras in Western Region (B&M dive, former name of “Western Regions Heaven”)

And that’s just scratching the surface.
Click to expand...

I should have mentioned that I was limiting my list to U.S. coasters. Given how names sometimes get translated, as well as differences in cultures and shared experiences, it didn’t seem fair to judge any other country’s naming conventions. In other words, I only feel comfortable determining what makes sense in American English.
 
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Nicole said:
I should have mentioned that I was limiting my list to U.S. coasters. Given how names sometimes get translated, as well as differences in cultures and shared experiences, it didn’t seem fair to judge any other country’s naming conventions. In other words, I only feel comfortable determining what makes sense in American English.
Click to expand...
Fair enough. I just watch a lot of povs from a YouTube channel by the name of MiyaPA Masane. Super high quality povs of coaster in China and that’s where I’ve learned the names from. They’re certainly unique to say the least.
 
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Pantherian is a good name. It fits with the Jungle-X naming scheme. In fact, you will notice that none of those coasters are on my list.

Its only problem is that Pantheon is just down the road. In other words, the only issue I see with the name Pantherian for a coaster in Jungle-X is that it sounds too similar to a BGW coaster that already existed.
 
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I've always hated the super generic names that they use for some rides to get by on not having any theming. Dominator, Scream, any boomerangs named Boomerang, Nitro, every Goliath, etc. I think every legacy SF park has at least 1 coaster that can fit into this category. Just seems really lazy to me. At least even the generic Apocalypse themed coasters, or DC coasters usually have some theming, even if it's lazy.
 
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There’s also Rollo Coaster at Idlewild, might as well have just been Roller Coaster at that point lol
 
I am both surprised and extremely pleased to see that Six Flags' principal overused uninspiring non-IP ride names of the '90s and 00's, including Viper and Flashback, haven't yet been mentioned in here. At long last the collective conscience has healed from that era and moved on.

The pantheon of Six Flags' tired DC Comics ride names continues to bore. At Great Adventure you can ride the Batman ride named Batman: The Ride, or walk directly across the pathway to ride the Batman coaster named The Dark Knight Coaster, which sits approximately on the site of the former Batman coaster named Batman and Robin: The Chiller. Clearly for over a decade and a half the Movietown ride names were chosen by spinning a big carnival roulette wheel that had no divisions, just a single full circle with "BATMAN" insanely scribbled onto it in sharpie by an unnamed supervillain. Was this the Joker's revenge, perhaps?
 
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I’ve always wondered what the hell SFNE was gonna do had their Dark Knight opened, being in the same park as Batman The Dark Knight. A floorless being named Batman feels wrong to begin with, so would they have rethemed entirely, or would we have had a 4th model in the chain named Batman the Ride?
 
Coasternerd said:
If you want long, weird, or unique coaster names, Chinese parks have got you covered:
-Soaring Dragon & Dancing Phoenix (a knockoff SLC)
-Frontline Charge (Vekoma roller skater)
-Antimatter Move & Stress Express (boomerangs)
-Python in Bamboo Forest (absolutely gargantuan GCI, possibly the largest ever built?)
-Pine Tree Rocket (Various vekoma models)
-Light of Revenge (Chinese Cheetah Hunt)
-Whale Breaking the Sky (intamin vertical lift)
-Osmanthus Flying Rabbit (kiddie coaster)
-Beyond the Cloud (probably one of the more well known—a massive Mack launch with a low to the ground high speed roll)
-Flight of the Himalayan Eagle Music Coaster (B&M mega coaster with on board music, and yes that really is the name)
-Flying Apsaras in Western Region (B&M dive, former name of “Western Regions Heaven”)

And that’s just scratching the surface.
Click to expand...

Not really a fair comparison considering Chinese to English translations can be skewed drastically. For example, the Chinese name for Python in Bamboo Forest is only four syllables. I wouldn't call that a long name. And a lot of the rides there are named after their cultural mythoi and lores so it would make direct sense to them but would seem a bit strange and unique when non-natives see it translated to English or another language.
 
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