Forum Decorum: Civility and Debate

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Nov 24, 2009
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That seems to be the norm now....eyerolls, telling everyone they are wrong and just posting useless memes or pics or whatever they are.
 

Nicole

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Jul 22, 2013
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I don't think the behavior of a small segment of the community constitutes a "norm." In fact, if you look at the discussion in this thread and on the Advisory Panel, it appears to me that the members as a whole is concerned with the recent levels of aggression and are looking for ways to address the problem.
 

lce

in the end i just want you to be happy
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If I give any other advice besides the things I have spoken on to people who are starting to get irritated, I'd say look inwards. It's possible that literally everyone on the forum but you is the problem, but it's much more likely that if you find yourself constantly in predicaments that can be classified as "undesirable", then perhaps it is in fact you who is the problem.

Of course there are issues that need to be addressed in the broader scale as we have discussed, but sometimes looking inwards and searching yourself helps a lot. I have done it several times over the past few years when I found myself regularly in conflicts in certain aspects of my life, and it has helped tremendously.

I'm not blaming or picking on anyone, but a lot can be gained from really looking inwards, no matter how hard it is to admit you may be wrong in how you handle things. I have no one individual in mind when I'm writing this, it's simply a general statement.

It's one thing to admit you're wrong in an argument, it's another thing to admit a fundamental portion of how you conduct yourself may be wrong. Heck if everyone looked inwards we wouldn't have any problems.

But for those receptive enough, I hope you do look inwards. And those too stubborn, hopefully things get better through shifting norms. I'm just tired of people not being able to give their opinions on here without tremendous backlash in such a poor fashion.
 
Nov 24, 2009
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I don't think the behavior of a small segment of the community constitutes a "norm." In fact, if you look at the discussion in this thread and on the Advisory Panel, it appears to me that the members as a whole is concerned with the recent levels of aggression and are looking for ways to address the problem.
I just feel like the eye rolls from some members come on anything I post. And as far as the cartoons or whatever they are when I go to a thread and there are two or three in a row with no real content that is pointless and annoyong...heck this thread alone has them.
 
Mar 16, 2016
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Part of my thing is goes with something brought up earlier with language. Steel Curtain coaster really gets me excited. I love the Steelers, I love Kennywood, and I think S&S made a beautiful ride.

I can't contain my excitement for it. Either I'd end up writing "Holy fucking shit I'm so excited. I can fucking wait to get on this. Kennywood fuck yea." or just post a meme/gif of a jaw dropping. The meme/gif kinda captures what I'm actually thinking better than all the swearing.
 

lce

in the end i just want you to be happy
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@lce , I don't know your intent. To me, however, that post came off as condescending.
Not at all my intent, just another recommendation. I thought since I recently internally reflected it and it helped, maybe others could too. No ill intent whatsoever. Apologies if it came across that way, I just figure it's better to spark the discussion of "hey maybe I can do better" than it is to blatantly tell someone they are doing wrong, since that can be perceived as agressive and rude. So I am sorry I didn't properly state my message, I had no poor motives.

I agree a lot with what @Applesauce said earlier honestly, I see a lot of people out here correcting in poor fashions. If I was ever part of that I apologise to you @Applesauce, it's never my goal to piss people off. I really never mean to offend people and I hope we can move past that. I am in the process of improving my own mannerisms in how I handle disagreements, as times are a changing, and I figured "hey I'm doing this let's see if anyone else wants to".

In short, no, it was not meant to be condescending. I genuinely see myself below average on the able-to-argue-nicely scale, and to my fellow parkfans down here with me, we can all be better.
 
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Applesauce

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May 22, 2010
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I'm sure something was said with malicious intent or at least intent to start something, indirectly-directed at me. However I can't see the post and I'm refusing to read it.

But I would like to over clarify this again: It's my view point. These are my experiences. These are my thoughts and feelings when this shit happens. And nobody is gonna tell me I'm wrong for feeling this way, whether I can read the post or not.

I honestly took a small break from the forum just to cool down from this, because fights were happening near daily including my own hot head getting mixed in them. I didn't write an essay for my own health. (although it did make me feel a little better.) I wrote it because this seems to happen constantly not just to me, but to others on the forum, and in the previous pages nobody had brought it up. (Unless I missed a post, correct me if I'm wrong here. I was kinda just deleting my what's new notifications.) I just used my own examples of this happening to me is all. I'm not gonna speak on the behalf of others who have been, I think, unjustly corrected, they are more than welcome to speak for themselves. But it irks me not only when I'm corrected for no reason, but to see others who receive the same treatment. It's just not healthy for the forum.
 
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lce

in the end i just want you to be happy
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I'm sure something was said with malicious intent or at least intent to start something, indirectly-directed at me. However I can't see the post and I'm refusing to read it
Can someone please tell Applesauce that I was just apologizing..?

But yeah here's an example of being unnecessarily rude.
 
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Mar 16, 2016
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Random thought on this....I know we have user names, can have a little thing under there...and this might be more a AP discussion, but what about a spot that constantly shows that you put your 'area of expertise' or what your degree is or something like that.

Like I'll volunteer that mine can say "Golf Pro/Urban Planner"
 
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lce

in the end i just want you to be happy
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I do not think that is necessary, as I'm a huge advocate against the "argument of authority", and I feel that feature would breed the "oh you're just a golf expert you don't know what you're taking about" type arguments.

In theory it's a great idea, but people will misuse it.
 
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Applesauce

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I kinda feel like, while some people would use it to be truthful. Some people would use it to be not so kind or just plain lie to make themselves sound like an expert? I wanna believe people wouldn't but... 🙃
 
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I don't think images/memes/gifs are a civility or debate issue.

As far as the eye-roll emoji, it looks likes it's going to be replaced so that won't be an issue anyone. That being said, negativity reacting to a post does not inherently mean a rude reaction. Civil debate does not mean people are required to like your content.
 
Mar 16, 2016
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I do not think that is necessary, as I'm a huge advocate against the "argument of authority", and I feel that feature would breed the "oh you're just a golf expert you don't know what you're taking about" type arguments.

In theory it's a great idea, but people will misuse it.
I kinda feel like, while some people would use it to be truthful. Some people would use it to be not so kind or just plain lie to make themselves sound like an expert? I wanna believe people wouldn't but... 🙃
I agree that it will unfortunately be misused; but like @Applesauce a few of my 'arguments' lately have been with people questioning things that I have a college degree in (urban planning/zoning/land use management/environmental engineering) or currently work as a fully accredited member of an association (PGA Professional). It's just annoying to deal with blowback on things where you know what you are talking about. Especially when someone posts a link to a site with little context.
 

lce

in the end i just want you to be happy
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Exactly. I think people should just stop questioning people's knowledge, and instead just contribute thiers, regardless of who it contradicts.
 

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forum of cunts
Aug 23, 2017
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I see a lot of rudeness recently, but I think people are on edge now as well and might have a tendency to be defensive.

I don’t see how commenting on a forum could ever be construed as butting into a conversation; even if you’re correcting someone.

To say that somebody is mansplaining is to say that you are being corrected on your opinion strictly because you are a woman.

That whole conversation/argument was unessesary and got out of hand but I think that other stuff was at the heart of the issue, as well as others.

Frankly this is the internet and that lends itself towards people acting a certain way. People will have no issue getting into petty arguments to prove they’re right and are often very crass while doing it. How do you solve it? I don’t know. Perhaps the best way is to not feed to troll.

Lastly, what the site users stand for will make a big difference in what gets posted. It might not be popular or the best way to handle it, but I feel like eye rolling petty or off topic arguments sends the right message. I don’t want to get involved and add more replies to an off topic spat, but if people get the sense that their arguments aren’t welcome, as they’re happening, I suspect they’re more likely to stop.
 
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forum of cunts
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Exactly. I think people should just stop questioning people's knowledge, and instead just contribute thiers, regardless of who it contradicts.
Frankly, this is a forum. Debate is one of its main modes of dialogue. The issue is of course when some debate become cat fights and mud slinging
 
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lce

in the end i just want you to be happy
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Well of course. But questioning someone's knowledge isn't how you debate. You instead contribute your argument, and have evidence to disprove someone if they are wrong. Not just "are you sure about that? Are you an expert?" Unless of course someone is spewing false information and needs to be put in check.
 
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